Today I was flipping channels and landed on a VH1 commercial advertising an upcoming television show and boasting of having "the scoop" on a well-known star's latest romance. And immediately I paused. Latest romance? That phrase is so completely jarring to my ears.
We are a society where the words romance and love have become defined by lust and overt sexuality. We are a society that celebrates celebrities (and everyday people) who hop from one "relationship" to the next and who accept and promote the concept of "starter marriages". We use the word love so loosely that it's true meaning has become completely diluted and is left up to each individual to decide.
We have become so empty on the inside that the concept of a "new romance" is acceptable. What I don't understand is how so many people who have experienced heart break at least once in their lives could continuously give their hearts away again and again and again by hopping from romance to romance, bed to bed, and marriage to marriage. At some point we have got to wake up and realize the more we piece ourselves out (or peace ourselves out) the less capable we will be to actually give and receive true love from the person that may be our match made in heaven.
1 Corinthians 13 says "...Love never gives up...Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end...". Now think about it. If your love is never giving up, putting up with anything, always looking for the best and never looking back, do you think it would be able to hop around from new romance to new romance as easily as many of us do?
Song of Songs 8 says "...Love is invincible facing danger and death...The fire of love stops at nothing...Flood waters can't drown love...Love can't be bought, love can't be sold-it's not to be found in the marketplace...". I wonder how many people have really faced danger and death for the person they say they love. How many of us have had our "love" threatened by fire and flood? Let me ask that question more practically. How many of us have had our "love" threatened by distance, illness, disagreements, financial woes, or family troubles? Most of us have experienced one or many of these circumstances in our lives and relationships. I think it is the exceptional person, the person who really strives to love the way God intended, who stays and rides the wave whether it be at it's highest high or lowest low.
Love, you see, is an action word. Unfortunately, many of us treat it like it's something to say when it feels good. On the contrary, love is something to do. And, on a romantic level, it's not meant to be done again and again and again. Our hearts are not meant to be pieced out again and again and again.
Now please don't think i'm claiming to be perfect. I've made a couple of mistakes in this department, mistaking someones kind words or actions for love. And in the end, I ended up hurt because the other individual either had ulterior motives or they started something that they were unable or unwilling to maintain. So i've definitely learned some hard lessons in this area.
This is a serious thing folks. Know your heart. Guard your heart. Because the one who is worth it will be able to back up his or her words with actions AND they'll be able to maintain both the words AND the actions.
Several times throughout Song of Songs this refrain is repeated: "...Oh, let me warn you, sisters (and brothers)...Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe-and you're ready." We should heed this warning. Your heart, your love was not meant to be pieced out. You weren't meant to hop from romance to romance or boo to boo. I challenge us all to guard our hearts more fiercely; don't stir up love until it's ready.
2 comments:
That was GOOD, Tryphena! So true! Love has been cheapened to "whatever we FEEL at the moment". There are so many sides and facets to love, so many different circumstances and situations. Here is another view from another vantage point. What is good in one situation, may be wrong in the next situation. Love is very challenging in so many ways. It asks of us, to be like God. God is love. Love never gives up and is not selfish. We have to listen to his Holy Spirit, to know what to do in each situation. Here is an example of what I mean. I used to counsel married women to never give up, always walk in love and be loving and kind, no matter what. Then there are abusive husbands and boy friends and love has to be tough and walk away, to maintain dignity and respect. Sometimes love requires you to stay in a difficult circumstance and sometimes love requires you to walk away. The challenge is to determine if you are giving up for selfish reasons, or walking away as a directive of Love. Love requires us to go beyond ourselves. I remember the story of a Christian man who was witnessing to another young man. The Christian was sharing about the love of Jesus. The second man was extremely offended and threatened to hit him if he did not stop and eventually punched the Christian man in the face. As the Christian lay on the floor, he wiped the blood from his face and said to the other man, "Jesus shed his blood for me and I am not too good to shed my blood for you." Little different view of love, than from the Hollywood perception of love. No matter what, in every situation, we must operate in God's love. Sometimes love is very gentle and kind and sometimes love is very firm and tough. Only The Holy Spirit can gives the direction that we should follow in each situation. I just keep learning His Love! :-)
Hey Tryphena, It's J.L. I wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. It hit on some important points on how the media taints the view on love with their influences... It's all about ratings and money...just because they are a celebrity doesn't mean that I have to care about their relationship but everybody is so into following that celebrities every move and the media plays on that then we play right into that as well. Think about it if they weren't a celebrity would we really care?...I would say more but I'm supposed to be working... Peace Lady :-P
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